Today is a big day. HUGE day. I admit to being really lazy when it comes to potty training my son. It was drilled into my brain that boys are harder to train and take longer, etc etc, so I used that to my full advantage to just not bother with it. Honestly, just trying to control my son in public is hard enough. The thought of adding a whole new element made me nervous. I mean, diapers are expensive, but not as expensive to my ego as a screaming kid in urine-soaked pants. AND, since I was pregnant before, I realized a lot of places just don't have convenient bathrooms.
I, like most parents, believe my kid is a genius and I have to admit that some social pressure influenced me into taking this more seriously. My kid is huge and has good speech for a 2 yr old. Many moms have assumed he was 4 yrs old which really started to take a toll on me. Here I was all proud of him, but then I realized if he looks that old, most moms are silently judging me with the "That boy is 4 and still in diapers!?!?! What is that mom's problem!?!?!" or "That boy is too old to not share and play well with others. He must be slow." I have always prided myself in NOT asking the intrusive playground questions (how old is he/she, are they potty-trained, do they know their abc's, are you starting preschool, etc etc) I didn't have my child to compete so I really don't care what YOUR child can do. When it came to potty-training, am I the only mom that thinks actually being able to go throughout your day uninterrupted and just having your child pee their pants is the best idea ever? If it was socially acceptable, I would wear a diaper on occasion just to avoid the elusive bathroom at an over-crowded children's museum.
But, like many parenting tasks that have to be done, I knew that someday I would have to be encouraging and potty train this child. With another one on the way it did pop up on my list of "Things To Stop Being Lazy About". I got the kid a $4 potty from Ikea, some Pixar Cars undies, and a Dora toilet seat cover (courtesy of all my stolen points I have accumulated via the internet and entered onto the Pampers Gifts to Grow website). The kid took to it like I had just got him the best new game ever. Then after a week at my parents house, I told him he needed to learn to pee while standing up. I said "If you pee standing up, you can pee anywhere in the world at any time." He bought that. He was on the fast-track to big boyness. Then my child amazes me:
We had his "big boy" class today. I put him in a diaper b/c while I feel good about my potty-training at home, the lazy side of me tells me to just forget about it in public and put the kid in a diaper when we go out. He goes to his class by himself and I sit in the hall and chit chat with the other moms. Mostly this is an interesting introduction into the motives of moms. Do they want new friends? Do they want to recruit you to be a Mary Kay rep? Or maybe they just want to throw in a few brags about their child and their social abilities. Since this homie don't play that, I usually throw in some shortcomings to ease the motherly tension. Mid-class, the teacher brings my Jerry outside and she says "Mommy, he has to go potty!". She has a smile, my son is holding his weiner, and all moms eyes point at me. You know what I said (like a total dumbass)? "He's wearing a diaper". Then she thrusted him to me even further. I could see that I messed this one up. A "good and enthusiastic" mom should say "Oh, Jerry, you big boy, let's go potty! Yay!!!!" I really just wanted him to pee his diaper and finish class. Then it clicked...this is it...this is one of those maternal moments all women yearn for. This is the "i got my sh*t together and am the world's greatest mom" moment. This is that moment I desire as I carry my screaming toddler out of Target like a bundle of firewood all b/c I wouldn't buy him a new Matchbox car. This is when all the moms look at ME with envy and surprise b/c *gasp* her son is potty-trained!!!! I grabbed my sweet Jerry and asked his teacher where the bathroom was. We ran giggling to a women's bathroom and I ripped off his diaper. My son, like a 45 yr old man at a urinal of a bar, stood at the toilet and peed a long stream that almost brought a tear to me eye. I then assembled his diaper back on while he was standing (and added "Pull Ups" to my mental grocery list) and we headed back to class. I held my head high and sat down like this was an everyday occurrence. Inside I was grinning ear to ear. No one had to know that was our first public pee.
And today was a good day...
0 comments:
Post a Comment